Self Mastery

Mastering others is strength, Mastering yourself is true power.

                                                 

                                 Lao Tzu

My curiosity with this concept began many years ago.  I suppose I became obsessed with it in the last few years.  What I mean by that is there is the self, then there is the higher self or God self,  each of us has this within us.  So few ever reach this state because the self is well developed and sometimes tricky.  Life from my view point is a strategy at best when you have no awareness of the  Higher self.  

As I sit each morning in stillness, I am aware of the higher part of me.  My attention is fully inward and life is perfect, even the harshest of situations.  Life is  full of possibilities.  But as soon as I get up, the mind kicks in and takes over.  It thinks about later on, yesterday, a conversation with my daughter etc.  The mind goes on..... and on....... and on.  It is a never ending stream of thoughts and projections.  Now, I am aware that this is an illusion and is there to distract me, to keep me from being present.   I watch my thoughts go by, sometimes taking a pause to check in with myself before I move forward.  As I become more aware I can reflect on the different stages that I have gone through.

In the beginning, I was completely unaware of anything outside of myself.  I was taught that each person needs to look good, have a good job, make lots of money and then spend that money on toys and other things that make me look better than the average person.

Then somewhere in my twenties I had a big shift.  I suppose my near death experience paved the way for me to experience that there was a God, higher power.  Then this began an intense internal search.  Although, at the time I looked for Doctor's, counselor's and teacher's to help me with this exploration.  I went through many individuals before I found the teacher/path that was right for me.  I highly recommend this exploration.  I had visited enough of the wrong teachers to know the right one when I found him.

Then in my thirty's I became aware of the show going on in my head.  I suppose years of meditation and conscious sex helped but it was my teacher and his guidance that really encouraged me to explore this possibility further.  He encouraged me to focus in sex the way I did in meditation.  Always paying attention to feeling what I feel and not have a plan, but let it unfold.  Life took on a different point of view for me and I began to make big changes in my personal and professional life.

In my forties I am more aware of it running me.  It likes to run me, tell me things (true or not) but I bring my awareness to it and I let it go by.  I do find myself in a struggle with it at times.  It makes bad decisions for me and sometimes I act upon them.  As soon as I catch it I work to put in the correction.  It might mean I apologize to someone or I clean up a mess I might have made. I feel blessed that I know the difference, that I have a true experience of my higher self and what is possible.    

It is my experience that being mindful is a process not a destination, with some days being better than others.  If you really want to know who you are, quieting the mind and mindful sex is the key to that exploration.  Just sitting for 10 minutes a day to start with, will bring about change in your life. Bringing that state of being into the bedroom will change your relationship.  You can really experience magic in your intimate life if you can be present long enough to feel what's available.  Mindful sex is powerful, intoxicating, and mind-blowing.  What can I say..... it moves me to having no words, I would love for you to experience it :)