Ebb and Flow of Relationships
I find myself in a familiar position. Their are things about my husband I wish I could change. Knowing what I know, I know that's not possible. It's up to me to change so I can see my relationship from another point of view.
I love my husband, but their are times when I just want to strangle him. We seem to butt heads and not have an even ground to stand from. It's these times that I take a step back and look at myself. I inquire within and ask myself "how am I showing up for my relationship? How can I be a better partner?" I know during these times of struggle I want to make HIM the problem. But somewhere inside of me I know it's me. Maybe I'm hormonal, distant or otherwise not interested. Maybe he is too, but I recognize that I can not change him. I can only change myself and watch the situation change from that stand point.
I think the hardest thing about relationship that no one ever shared with me is that you accept your partner of who they are and not try to change them. Brow beating them into behaving the way you want them to only creates resistance between the two of you. Who knows, maybe he/she will change, but they will resent you for it and it will create a negative space between to two of you.
What would it look like if you filled the complaint you had? For example, if you do not like the way your spouse keeps the house instead of complaining about it try doing something about it, fill the complaint. Maybe more storage space could handle the issue or having a garage sale to unload some stuff you are no longer using. In this way, I am not demanding that he change, I change and then the situation changes. Where I had a complaint is no more. I have handled the complaint myself.
I know it's easy to want to make your partner behave. But really, the only person you can make behave is.....yourself.
Many Blessings,
All-is-on
www.A-Spiritualorg.org
I love my husband, but their are times when I just want to strangle him. We seem to butt heads and not have an even ground to stand from. It's these times that I take a step back and look at myself. I inquire within and ask myself "how am I showing up for my relationship? How can I be a better partner?" I know during these times of struggle I want to make HIM the problem. But somewhere inside of me I know it's me. Maybe I'm hormonal, distant or otherwise not interested. Maybe he is too, but I recognize that I can not change him. I can only change myself and watch the situation change from that stand point.
I think the hardest thing about relationship that no one ever shared with me is that you accept your partner of who they are and not try to change them. Brow beating them into behaving the way you want them to only creates resistance between the two of you. Who knows, maybe he/she will change, but they will resent you for it and it will create a negative space between to two of you.
What would it look like if you filled the complaint you had? For example, if you do not like the way your spouse keeps the house instead of complaining about it try doing something about it, fill the complaint. Maybe more storage space could handle the issue or having a garage sale to unload some stuff you are no longer using. In this way, I am not demanding that he change, I change and then the situation changes. Where I had a complaint is no more. I have handled the complaint myself.
I know it's easy to want to make your partner behave. But really, the only person you can make behave is.....yourself.
Many Blessings,
All-is-on
www.A-Spiritualorg.org
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