Mindful Sex
One of the greatest things you can give to your partner and your self is your presence. What I mean by that is, during times of intimacy, being completely present with your partner. In our fast paced world sometimes it's difficult to be present. But being present is what is going to give you connection with your mate, it's where the magic is.
When you are new in a relationship it's easy to be present. It's fresh and exciting. But as the years roll by and the excitement is gone, what do you do then? Do you need porn or some toy to get yourself aroused? Or do you choose no sex at all and miss this vital connection with your mate? What if you were to place your attention right where your partner was touching you? Could you go into the sensation, notice what his/her touch feels like? Following where their hand is and bring yourself to that place in your body. Then just feel what you feel. Don't try to lead it just relax into it. You bring your awareness to to being with your partner. Notice the energy between the two of you. Place your hands on him/her and feel what their skin feels like. Close your eyes if necessary. Be careful to not think about later on, the kids, your work or what's for dinner. But being there, being with what is, and experiencing one-another.
The goal here is that their is no goal. Be aware that the western mindset around sex is "orgasm." We, as a culture are so obsessed with it that a lot of us can not experience it because we are trying so hard to have it. Orgasm's are simple. When you have no agenda, when you can feel what you feel, you will be led down the pathway to orgasm and if you don't SO WHAT? You are after connection, intimacy, not an end result.
Try this simple exercise:
Step one: One partner lay down, naked preferably. The one that isn't laying down take your finger tips and place your hands on his/her body and move up and down the body, touch everywhere. Notice how your fingers feel as you move on the body. Do certain areas feel different than others? Placing all of your attention there. The person receiving, with your mind, meet his/her finger tips. Actually try to reach up and touch the sensation. How does it feel? If your mind wanders just bring it back and focus again. Then switch partners and do the same.
Step two: Switch partners again and use the back of your fingers so your finger nails are touching. Do the same process as above paying careful attention to the sensation.
Step three: Use your mouth/tongue and kiss all over. The same idea as above, paying attention to feeling what you feel.
Both people are focusing their attention on one another. One receives and one gives but both experience the sensation. Please keep in mind that this is not an invitation to sex. Certainly if it leads that way it does, but that is not why you are doing this exercise.
Being connected to your mate is vitally important for both people involved. It can improve your overall health and well being. An let's face it, when you are sexually satisfied or have some sense of connection, life can hand you lemons and you just make lemonade.
More to come......
All_is_on
When you are new in a relationship it's easy to be present. It's fresh and exciting. But as the years roll by and the excitement is gone, what do you do then? Do you need porn or some toy to get yourself aroused? Or do you choose no sex at all and miss this vital connection with your mate? What if you were to place your attention right where your partner was touching you? Could you go into the sensation, notice what his/her touch feels like? Following where their hand is and bring yourself to that place in your body. Then just feel what you feel. Don't try to lead it just relax into it. You bring your awareness to to being with your partner. Notice the energy between the two of you. Place your hands on him/her and feel what their skin feels like. Close your eyes if necessary. Be careful to not think about later on, the kids, your work or what's for dinner. But being there, being with what is, and experiencing one-another.
The goal here is that their is no goal. Be aware that the western mindset around sex is "orgasm." We, as a culture are so obsessed with it that a lot of us can not experience it because we are trying so hard to have it. Orgasm's are simple. When you have no agenda, when you can feel what you feel, you will be led down the pathway to orgasm and if you don't SO WHAT? You are after connection, intimacy, not an end result.
Try this simple exercise:
Step one: One partner lay down, naked preferably. The one that isn't laying down take your finger tips and place your hands on his/her body and move up and down the body, touch everywhere. Notice how your fingers feel as you move on the body. Do certain areas feel different than others? Placing all of your attention there. The person receiving, with your mind, meet his/her finger tips. Actually try to reach up and touch the sensation. How does it feel? If your mind wanders just bring it back and focus again. Then switch partners and do the same.
Step two: Switch partners again and use the back of your fingers so your finger nails are touching. Do the same process as above paying careful attention to the sensation.
Step three: Use your mouth/tongue and kiss all over. The same idea as above, paying attention to feeling what you feel.
Both people are focusing their attention on one another. One receives and one gives but both experience the sensation. Please keep in mind that this is not an invitation to sex. Certainly if it leads that way it does, but that is not why you are doing this exercise.
Being connected to your mate is vitally important for both people involved. It can improve your overall health and well being. An let's face it, when you are sexually satisfied or have some sense of connection, life can hand you lemons and you just make lemonade.
More to come......
All_is_on
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