Discovering Myself
I am reposting this Blog, not sure why it was taken down.
I was recently asked by someone.... what could they hope to get out of doing these practices that we teach. It took me a moment to reflect on the last 16 years of my life, to think about where I was then and where I am now. I'd like to share with you what I told her.
When I was introduced to this practice in 1997, I really had no idea as to where it was going to lead me. All I knew, was that I was looking for something.... anything, that was going to make a difference in my life. I longed for inner peace, love, joy and stillness inside. What I didn't know at the time was these sexual practices had the possibility to bring me what I searched for. I was a good student, faithful in that I knew the way I was going wasn't working, so I was open to the possibility that my teacher had a better way. I took time and care each day to practice his teachings: meditation, manipulations, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, new communication skills, connected breath, and eventually Jade egg.
What I discovered along the way, was myself. Not just who I was in the mirror but who I was inside. I began to uncover that I had completely disowned my sexual organs. I didn't even call them what they were (I called my Vulva "my Kitty"). I did not realize the impact that it had on me and my ability to relate to myself, others and the Divine.
As I progressed, I became aware of the thoughts in my head. I realized within myself that these were just thoughts, not me at all, but an endless voice that created drama in every area of my life. I could clearly see that my mind added meaning to things, sometimes true, sometime not. My mind could take me down a rabbit trail and I would be left feeling horrible, sad and depressed.
Once I had this awakening, everything changed for me. I had relationships that came to an end because they no longer served me, while new ones were brought in. I finally had peace within myself and my relationships. I was free to be who I was, not the story I had created somewhere along the way. My whole everything changed. I believe they refer to his as "transformation." I was no longer who I was, everything changed, but nothing was different.
After this I began to teach and write. My desire to connect with my husband became incredibly important to me. I wanted to learn more about him. I began to inquire with him on how we could experience a deeper more profound relationship together. From that point on we decided that each night, we would connect in some way. Sometimes we do the manipulations on each other, we cuddle and talk, have sex, or rub each other down. Always being mindful to be present, to feel what we feel and have no expatiation of anything else. Just being in the moment with one another.
When I began the Jade egg, I was embarrassed to tell anyone, not even my close friends. But, as I got better, I began to add more weight to my egg and my confidence flourished. My skill set in the bedroom took on a whole new meaning. I felt empowered, strong and confident that I could please my man in a way that no other woman could (unless of course she too knew the secrets of the egg). My confidence in the bedroom spilled over into my life and I began to see the importance for every woman on the planet to learn these exercises. I couldn't help but think of the possibilities for all woman. If I could not only survive my past but turn it into something profound and fulfilling, what was possible for others?
But the most profound change I experienced was my connection to the Divine.... the God within me. I didn't believe in God when I began this journey. Somewhere along the way I recognized a presence around me and within me. At the time I didn't really know what to make of it. Now, I know and am grateful for the support and love that guides me.
So, it is my sincere hope that if you decide that follow this path that you too may experience a similar awakening. That you may find the God within you and share it with others.
Much Love,
All_is_on
I was recently asked by someone.... what could they hope to get out of doing these practices that we teach. It took me a moment to reflect on the last 16 years of my life, to think about where I was then and where I am now. I'd like to share with you what I told her.
When I was introduced to this practice in 1997, I really had no idea as to where it was going to lead me. All I knew, was that I was looking for something.... anything, that was going to make a difference in my life. I longed for inner peace, love, joy and stillness inside. What I didn't know at the time was these sexual practices had the possibility to bring me what I searched for. I was a good student, faithful in that I knew the way I was going wasn't working, so I was open to the possibility that my teacher had a better way. I took time and care each day to practice his teachings: meditation, manipulations, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, new communication skills, connected breath, and eventually Jade egg.
What I discovered along the way, was myself. Not just who I was in the mirror but who I was inside. I began to uncover that I had completely disowned my sexual organs. I didn't even call them what they were (I called my Vulva "my Kitty"). I did not realize the impact that it had on me and my ability to relate to myself, others and the Divine.
As I progressed, I became aware of the thoughts in my head. I realized within myself that these were just thoughts, not me at all, but an endless voice that created drama in every area of my life. I could clearly see that my mind added meaning to things, sometimes true, sometime not. My mind could take me down a rabbit trail and I would be left feeling horrible, sad and depressed.
Once I had this awakening, everything changed for me. I had relationships that came to an end because they no longer served me, while new ones were brought in. I finally had peace within myself and my relationships. I was free to be who I was, not the story I had created somewhere along the way. My whole everything changed. I believe they refer to his as "transformation." I was no longer who I was, everything changed, but nothing was different.
After this I began to teach and write. My desire to connect with my husband became incredibly important to me. I wanted to learn more about him. I began to inquire with him on how we could experience a deeper more profound relationship together. From that point on we decided that each night, we would connect in some way. Sometimes we do the manipulations on each other, we cuddle and talk, have sex, or rub each other down. Always being mindful to be present, to feel what we feel and have no expatiation of anything else. Just being in the moment with one another.
When I began the Jade egg, I was embarrassed to tell anyone, not even my close friends. But, as I got better, I began to add more weight to my egg and my confidence flourished. My skill set in the bedroom took on a whole new meaning. I felt empowered, strong and confident that I could please my man in a way that no other woman could (unless of course she too knew the secrets of the egg). My confidence in the bedroom spilled over into my life and I began to see the importance for every woman on the planet to learn these exercises. I couldn't help but think of the possibilities for all woman. If I could not only survive my past but turn it into something profound and fulfilling, what was possible for others?
But the most profound change I experienced was my connection to the Divine.... the God within me. I didn't believe in God when I began this journey. Somewhere along the way I recognized a presence around me and within me. At the time I didn't really know what to make of it. Now, I know and am grateful for the support and love that guides me.
So, it is my sincere hope that if you decide that follow this path that you too may experience a similar awakening. That you may find the God within you and share it with others.
Much Love,
All_is_on
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