The Transformational Powers of a Child
When I was in my twenties, I swore I'd never have kids. They were loud and prone to tantrums, and from what I could see, they were far more trouble than they were worth. A childless life suited me just fine. I saw it as a real advantage.
Truth be told, under the surface, I was just scared. I knew that I didn’t want to parent anyone the way I had been parented, and yet, I was afraid I would unconsciously follow their footsteps. They were my only role model.
At 27, I met my future husband – and he was a parent.
We met on a platonic basis, and we agreed to do some work together on Tuesdays and Thursdays. When I showed up the first morning, he casually mentioned his daughter would be with us for a few hours in the mornings.
“What?! I’m sorry but, I don’t do kids. I’m just not good with them... sooo, it’s probably not a good idea for us to meet while she’s around. How about we plan on another time?”
I might was well have been talking to a wall. He opened the car door and waited for me to sit down.
After a long hesitation and then a deep sigh, I reluctantly got into the car. For the entire ride on the way to his daughter, I sat there in a sweat, trying to figure out how I was going to get through the morning. I had never met a child that didn't misbehave... and now I had to hang out with one for several hours each week? What a bad day this had turned out to be!
Soon we were parking, and before I knew it, Victor’s joyful daughter KD came running around the corner. She gave her dad a big hug and then insisted that I sit in the back seat with her. I shook my head no, but she was not taking no for an answer. On the way to the park, she asked me 20 questions; I definitely had her complete and full attention. And before long, she had mine too.
Soon I noticed something strange. There were no tantrums, no yelling, no fits – just pure joy coming from this child. How could this be?
As the morning went on, she included me in everything she did. She asked nicely and grabbed my hand. She sang songs and bounced around the park as if it was the happiest day of her life. Before long, she had bounced her way into my heart. I began to look forward to seeing her.
Two years later, I began to feel a desire for my own child. I thought to myself, "If I could parent the way KD’s parents do... maybe mine will turn out as perfect as she did." (I can say that with a chuckle now; every child is infinitely unique.)
Finally, the day came when I gave birth to our daughter, Jasira. She was perfect from the moment I held her in my arms. If you are a parent, you know what I am talking about... and if you aren’t a parent, there’s just no way to describe that experience of love. There isn’t anything else like it on the planet. It is far different than the love we feel for a partner, or parents or friends. It is intoxicating, wonderfully overwhelming, and just the most powerful feeling you can experience.
Our daughter is going to turn 10 this month. She is still the perfect little being she was when she first arrived. She still lights up my day, brings me such joy, and gives me so much unconditional love that I could not have gotten anywhere else. I live in a state of gratitude for her, for God blessing me with such a perfect miracle. She shows me how to be, how to experience the world… and she reminds me of everything I am unwilling to look at. She has been my greatest teacher and my constant reminder that I am truly blessed. I have no idea as to who I would be if I wasn’t a parent.
I am so thankful for the time I spent with KD… it opened my eyes to an entire universe of magical, joyful, loving experiences that only arrive through the heart of a child.
Warmly,
Allison
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