My relationship with my Parents

One of the first things that was presented to me by my teacher as an essential learning, was my relationship with my parents. Now you have to realize I had recently moved 3,000 miles away from my parents. I hated my parents. I cursed them in my memory and frequently talked about how wrong they were and how poorly they raised me. I was a rebellious, dissed child. They were the root cause of why I was so unhappy and lost in life (at least from my perspective back then). I hadn't spoken to my parents in 2 years and I had no desire or interest to make that connection again. I was so angry that it was even suggested that my relationship with my parents needed to be explored again and that was effecting my ability to have a deeply connected relationship with a man.

I discovered that my relationship with my parents was the first relationship I experienced in the world and every relationship there after that was based on that first experience.

When incomplete with your parents, you become your parents wether you like it or not. You can become the opposite of them, which in effect, is still becoming them just the opposite-but the same. You must complete your relationship with your parents to be free to experience who you are. What this means-to be complete with your parents-is to accept your parents for whom they are. You must accept that they did it right to result in you becoming who you became, that they were the perfect teachers for you at the time and that you love them completely and have no desire or need to change them in any way. They are perfect just as they are.

It took me years to embody this principal. I did reconnect with them within a few months and went home to see them on occasion. But it wasn't until recently that I was able to move into gratitude for my upbringing and accept it for what it is. Almost instantly, it amazed me how I was set free from my past. It was like I was in jail and I didn't even know until I was let out. Now I was in the position to experience my current relationship in the moment, to create the life together; a relationship I had always wanted but was unable to do in the past. I was able to experience sex on a whole new level, to embrace my partner and everything about him and what he was trying to share with me. I really had no idea how much my relationship with my parents had been effecting me and my choices in all areas of my life-until that point.

I was looking for help with sex and what I found was a new way of being, thinking, living and experiencing the experience instead of the story of the experience. I live now in the moment and able to see things more clearly; to see things as they "are" rather than as they "should be", was, or going to be. Learning to see what is real and observe without judgement was my delightful companion and teacher, during this era.